Blogging with Dr. Susan

 

Blogging with Dr. Susan

Parents Are In Charge

Parents are “in charge” of their own households for at least 20 years while their children are growing up.  Blame is not accepted as appropriate in most cultures because there is never one reason why children act or behave the way they do.  Schools, churches, community life, television, books, etc. all impact how children feel and behave.  Parents are the most appropriate teachers for their children, and children incorporate the values and beliefs into peer thinking, but age-mates and peers deeply influence child behavior.  The best practices for parents include:  close supervision of their children’s activities and choice of friends, and good communication between parents and children, so they can talk about most everything.  Parents are responsible for their children learning values, morals and beliefs.



Rules for the Use of Technology in the Lives of Young Children and Their Parents

 

Who among parents and teachers will admit they know way less than their kids know about technology?   How important is it to have access to their kid’s computers  (some kids have Iphones as well as more than one laptop or access to a family computer).   Do you want to be a person who gives in or gives up?? 

OR do you want to be a caring and vigilant parent who has control of his or her own household?

  Teachers and parents are afraid of their own children! 

How recently have you as a parent shown your children that you allow them to use the computer and cell phones? Be more aware of this defect of character!  After all, who wants to admit they need help in setting rules and being in charge?  

Try to be strong…try to be smart and, in my opinion, be very firm about asking children daily who are they talking to and what are they doing online. This means a routine twice a day that consists of monitoring the content of all interactions every single day.

This includes whom they talk to and for how long.  This means a sheet of paper sits by the child alongside a tweet, a blog, and comments about friends and more!  That’s why home monitoring and teaching family social and educational skills are necessary for kids to have rules    in becoming computer savvy? …And classrooms are filled with technology.  If technology is used in the right way as a game-changer and a communication system…. Great! 

Otherwise, do you know how to say “no”?    

Lay down the law, the minimum age for computer use in the classroom is the teacher’s call and at home your call!  You need to correlate with home chores and games and family activities, how helpful and organized the child in question may be! Most children by age five have interacted with some sort of technology. 

By 7 or 8 years old your child may be using the computer at home as well as using school computers and other audio/visual aids.  Do you ask and watch what they play?  NO way do you allow young or emotionally immature tweens to have cellphones or post messages or use computers unsupervised!  They have to be taught that posting extremely private information about them at a young age can come back to haunt them several years later.

Vulnerable young children do not understand or have the capacity to realize the embarrassment and damage created by their posts that can last forever. Research says that teen’s text and average of 3,500 texts a month- don’t let them even think about it until age 12!    

Technology is sapping the creativity out of our children.  When a child uses technological devices, he is not using his own sensory information. Technology is not creative in the sense that the child plays by the rules of the device, not by his own thoughts or actions.

As a parent ask yourselves a few questions:

Are parents using technology to distract their kids when they don’t want to deal with a situation? 

Are your kids missing the opportunity to discuss with you, to feel anger or sadness, to be listened too?

Does using Twitter and knowing embarrassing personal things about someone instantly make children grow up with little empathy for others? Learning to read facial expressions is how children learn to empathize.

Are the use of screens and electronic devices contributing to the diabetes epidemic in children?



Its time for bed!

 

 

All that is needed is patience and time.  Toddlers and babies are designed with a natural tendency to cry to get what they want and move constantly and I do mean infants move every muscle every day every time every way!  

 

This is a good thing, so take advantage of it and do lots of floor play, cuddling and walking and talking and carrying on as if this was the only infant in the world… every minute of every day…and night too!    Happy babies want attention!  

 

Fretful babies are no different than we are as adults!  They want to be in charge and they want attention, so give it to them!   Expose them to the sights and sounds around them…they make their own sounds and they react to those changes of air and temperature, sounds and sights! 

 

And, OH YES, babies need to be put to bed and aroused ON PURPOSE AND ON TIME so that there is consistence and constancy and WELL YOU GET THE POINT!  Routinely and generally with lots of language and singing and humming whenever the infant is fussy or wants a change of position! 

 

CARRY Infants FROM Place TO PLACE SO THEY SEE AND HEAR AND FEEL the differences in air and light and temperature…    Every day sit on the floor and play ….the floor is important with the infant and rock and talk and talk and rock and talk that it is possible s atrarterin a t three month think in and out of the womb.  Every muscle and every nerve endow babies and toddlers with lots of energy and nothing but time on their hands!  

 

Walking around with a baby in your arms is a necessity! Vary the play and change the play and exercises and activities of constant movement ………it is hard to get parents to learn to move consonantly and exercise their infants



GUNS

 

 

For your information and for the health of those around you, you need to know….

 

Susan says children are not suited for guns. Children (youth and adults) are impulsive and risk-takers. They do not listen. Guns are not needed to teach children responsibility.  If you have a gun, get rid of it.  If you don’t, good for you.

 

The NRA and other pro-gun establishments are pouring millions of dollars into games and contests to younger and younger children in an effort to ensure their futures.

 

In 2010 the NRA’s grants to youth groups grew to nearly $21 milllion – double what it gave out five years before. The industry has poured semi-automatic weapons into youth groups including Boy Scouts and National Guard camps. Websites are offering coupons for kids to support and encourage junior shooters.

 

Many psychiatrists agree putting a gun in the hands of a child is risky. 

Questions:

 

What would you do if your neighbors 12 year old had a gun and a target in his backyard?

 

What would you do if your neighbor’s teen was diagnosed with a mental illness? They have guns in their home and you know it.

 

What would you do if your friends promote gun use and brag about it to you constantly?

 

What would you do if you went on a date and the man was carrying a concealed weapon?

 

What would you do if your neighbors were heavy drinkers and were constantly fighting for all the neighbors to hear (you know they own several guns)?                                   

 

Guns are for………………………………………………what do you think?

 



Consequences of Divorce

 

In a perfect world, every baby would be welcomed with open, loving arms and cherished so completely that a happy and healthy childhood was guaranteed.  In this imperfect world, however, many babies are born into less than ideal circumstances.  As a result of divorce, babies may experience a disruption in their growth progression.  Overnight visitation became the scapegoat blamed for the development difficulties.  Although overnight visitation became the focus of the legal and parental battles, the more critical problems were the conflict, hostility, anxiety and nature of the divorce processes that became competition for their parents’ attention and the sensitive and responsive caregiving they deserved.

 

Every child and family must be considered on an individual basis when developing custody and visitation plans for infants and toddlers.  Factors to consider include not only the child’s attachments and developing relationships but also the child’s physical health, growth and development, resiliency and ability to adapt to changes, and temperament.  The quality of the relationships between family members is also critical.  How much conflict is present?  Can these parents talk to one another in a calm manner?  Can they make eye contact with one another?  Most importantly, do the adults who have been charged with nurturing, protecting, and caring for this infant have the ability to search out, identify, and honor the child’s responses and cues?  Can they respond to these cues and understand the infant’s individual needs, which are often not in synchrony with their own?

 

Layered on top of these considerations are issues related to custody and visitation.  Primary custody often goes to the mother of the infant with the father receiving some level of visitation, especially during the early years.  A great deal of controversy surrounds what type of visitation plan is appropriate and can meet the needs of the infant as well as the needs of the noncustodial parent.  Although visitation wit the father is desirable, separation from the mother is seen as undesirable.  The infant is positioned between these two concerns, and a plan must be made to reconcile them.  Further burdening this decision is the inflexibility of the legal system.  Once a plan has been established for the infant, even if problems later develop they can become difficult to prove, time consuming to bring to the table for discussion, and costly to resolve if parents cannot agree without court intervention.

 

Overnight visitation is frequently the main focus of visitation discussions and court battles.  At what age can the child begin overnights?  How often?  How many hours can it involve?  Can the child tolerate two different sleeping environments?  Can the baby be comforted with a bottle from her father when she may have awakened searching for the comfort of her mother’s breast?