Professional Development
Teaching Activities for Families » Special Needs - The Elliott Family Story
Mary tells her story:
People think we're crazy having six kids, especially since they all have special needs. The three youngest ones have speech delays, and are a handful. They are good in school, but fight like crazy at home. The boys bite each other and leave bruises on each other. We've had Department of Human Services out here so many times the neighbors think they are relatives. Neither of the little ones are potty trained. At home, Christopher still has accidents. Gene and Emily take their diapers off, just to test me, but they stay dry at school, even when they are wearing diapers.
Gene is very hard to understand, but he is smart and is starting to read signs. He had problems at birth. The doctors said he had a stroke. They didn't tell me he might have learning problems. It wasn't until he had a real high fever when he was 18 months old that the doctors let me know that his not talking might be because of the stroke. Gene did just about everything else on time. He loves school, and doesn't mind leaving me.
Emily is the baby and she doesn't like to go anywhere without us, even for a minute. She just started in a toddler Early Intervention program and screams her head off, until an hour or so after I leave her off at the door. The Early Intervention teachers like the kids, and they say it's normal if Emily doesn't want to leave me -- they told me that.
Mickey, my oldest, has real bad behavior problems. He is angry all the time. I wasn't married when I had Mickey, so some people don't realize that he's not Rick's kid. The two of them fight a lot. Mickey's even taken a swing at Rick a few times. I get tired of calling the police. I'm so glad Mickey just had his 18th birthday last week, so maybe he'll move out. He needs a lot of help, but we can't get him into a place where he could live away from us.
April and Jesse are okay. They both saw a neurologist a year ago, and he said they were okay. They go to a counselor every week at school -- one of those after school programs, which is fine with Rick and me. I just wish April and Jesse would be nicer to the little ones. They hit and really hurt Chris. They leave the baby alone, so far, but it's just a matter of time. I can't watch them all the time, and neither can Rick. He's too busy collecting junk and fixing it to sell, which is how we survive -- that and disability checks and food vouchers. You should see our refrigerator at the end of the month -- empty!
Since the kids are hard to handle, we never go anywhere without them. No one would babysit; it's too hard to control everyone. We did have a home health aide -- actually two came together. The one told us to take down the kids' artwork and other pictures we had hanging on the walls, because it wasn't good for autistic kids to have all that stuff hanging around. We were shocked, because she was so nasty and we never heard any clinic doctor talk about autistic. They just talk like their father, we thought.
Anyway, that health aide called Department of Human Services on us, because we didn't have enough beds. Chris was four, and still in the crib, because he'd wake up during the night and wake the others, so we stuck him in the crib. The caseworker came right out, for the hundredth time, and she got upset because there were three potty chairs in the house. Well, we only have one bathroom and eight people -- what would she suggest?
The early intervention teachers say Gene, not Chris, is autistic. We don't think so. He likes people, and learns quickly. He does flap his hands some if he's excited. We taught him, by just shaking our heads, to stop doing this. He tries to talk and some people understand him. Gene's speech therapist is trying to get him a communication device that he can keep with him. Sometimes she borrows one and lets him bring it home.
Rick and I try to be good parents for our kids and do the best we can. We're happy at the progress that the younger ones are making in school. Chris may be able to get into the local school kindergarten next year. I wish he'd had Early Intervention like Gene and Emily. He might be able to control his temper and be a helpful and caring boy, but look at what he sees and learns around the house! Mickey gets everyone riled up. Jesse and April fight so much that sometimes I think that it would be better to call my mother-in-law and have her send us money to move back down to Kentucky.
