Solutions For Parents

Infants » Discipline and Guidance

Working Mom

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Dear Dr. Susan:

I am a working mom, with a new baby and I feel guilty leaving him all day long. Is he going to grow up knowing that I am his mother?


Dear Ginger:

Since you work and need to do that, then your child care person needs to work hard to involve you in the care of the new baby, even if its just a list of what the caregiver and baby did all day. If you can, try to go home for lunch or one day a week have the caregiver bring the baby to your workplace. That makes you feel you are still in charge even if you are not actually doing all the childcare. Make audio tapes, start a scrapbook, take pictures on the weekends and give individual attention to the baby. Take time off from work regularly even if it means less money. Employers are recognizing that new babies need mother and father contact to attach securely to each other. If that’s not possible, your baby will still form a “tight” bond because you are relaxed, confident and involved with all his routines when you are home. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilt. What you feel is lonely and sad, so only you can decide how much those feelings interfere with your life.

Susan H. Turben, Ph.D.

Ask Dr. Susan